Tiki Man Read online

kitchen which was decorated in bright ribbons of blood.

  “Oh my God...” She whispered in disgust and astonishment as she gazed up the tiled walls and along the ceiling.

  A drop of blood slid off one of the light fixtures, slapping Jane in the face, staining her cheek.

  “Ergh!” She groaned, wiping it off and then continuing to wipe her fingers on her pants.

  “And now?”

  “Piss off Will.”

  Will laughed sadistically before his eyes fell on the smashed case lying wide open upon the kitchen floor.

  “Hmm...”

  He kicked the case lightly, spreading the pieces, unveiling a small statue.

  “Hey Jane!” Will called out childishly to Jane who was halfway up the staircase, still pointing her weapon.

  “Hey Jane!” He hollered again.

  “Shut up!” She screamed back before poking her head into the kids rooms and then making her way back to the banister to see what Will was going on about.

  “I found your mother!” He smiled, holding a small statue of a man sitting on his haunches, above his head and making it dance around.

  “Keep looking, you might find your manhood somewhere in there!” Jane barked before searching the rest of the house.

  “Everything's clean!” She called out to him as she ran her hand along the banister on her way down.

  “There's nobody here, signs of forced entry... It's like a scene from a horror movie in here sir...” He reported back to his superior.

  “What are you doing!?” Jane complained, finding Will still clutching the statue in one hand as he spoke over the radio.

  “You do realise you're tampering with a crime scene right? That's evidence you getting your paw prints all over.”

  “Ahh, don't be jealous, rub his belly!” He giggled shoving the small wooden statue in her face.

  “I'm going to shoot you!” She complained, backing away from her partner as he made dog-like barking noises as he shook the statue violently.

  “That looks like some religious or cultural item.” Jane pointed out.

  “This? This is a little man carved out of chunk of wood...badly, I might add...” He said, frowning, as the statue cradled in his cut gloves.

  “That's like some kind of a Totem, like Aztec or something!”

  “More like ass-tech.” He laughed before placing it upright on the kitchen counter.

  “Well I don't know about you but I don't want to stand in this petri dish for blood borne diseases... I'll be outside so long.” She confirmed before tapping her right boot twice to make sure it was secure.

  It was a nervous tick for Jane, whenever she felt uncomfortable in a situation, she never expressed it on her face or even verbally; she's just tap part of her body twice as if she were checking herself.

  “Yeah, go outside! All the cows belong on the grass!”

  “Har Har!” She said sarcastically before heading out on the lawn trying to shake the smell of fresh blood and wiping her feet off on the lawn.

  “That is vile...” Jane murmured to herself, bending forward, resting her hands on her knees as the neighbours trickled out of their houses.

  Will fled the home, pushing Jane over, as she was already doubled over before getting into the vehicle and placing something under the passenger seat.

  “You're a real piece of work!” Jane groaned, trying to see him through the glare of the window shield.

  “I think you mean, a work of art!” He responded, slamming the door and letting his arm rest out the window.

  “What are you doing in my seat?”

  “I called shotgun.”

  “When?” She questioned as she frowned in disbelief.

  “When I got in the car.”

  “Oh that's rich...Get out.”

  “No.” He smiled, pressing the manual lock down even though his arm was hanging out the window.

  “Geez! I going to kill you!” She roared as she gripped his jacket with both hands and shook his brains until they were mush.

  “Do we have a problem here?” Said another officer who had just arrived on the scene.

  “No. She's on her period.” He assured the officer.

  Jane, rolled her eyes and got in the driver's seat, slamming the door after herself.

  “I got something to show you.” Will whispered as he leaned over to Jane who was resting her head on her hand as she watched the detectives enter the house.

  “Go away!” She moaned as she battered him with her free arm.

  “Come, let's go have a drink and I'll show you what I found.”

  “Not interested.”

  “Haa! But he's interested in you!”

  “Not another hook up!”

  She finally turned around to face Will who slowly bent down and retrieved something from under his seat. He peered out the passenger side window and then back up at Jane before partially revealing it.

  “You gotta be kidding!”

  “Yup! I got crazy Buddha.”

  “No. No. No! You can't take that! That's stealing evidence. That's tampering with a crime scene, hindering an investigation... Withholding of evidence.” She stressed below her voice.

  “Oh please...I had to take it, it spoke to me.”

  “Oh yeah? What did it say?”

  “He asked me if you're always a tight ass and I told him only in those jeans! Hahaha!”

  “This is serious Will, you might be a kleptomaniac!”

  “You know what you need?”

  “No! What? What do I need?”

  “To rub his belly!” He said childishly, nodding the wooden statue that was partially visible from the seat.

  “Well I didn't see anything okay? But you owe me one, big time!”

  “Yeah, sure. Whatever.” He replied, kicking the statue under the seat again, holding it in place with the heals of his boots.

  Jane turned the keys to the ignition and backed up off the front lawn, making sure that there was no oncoming traffic. Will sat patiently, in silence as if he finally ran out of things to say, as if the river of irrelevance had finally dried up.

  “Are we going to stop at a drive through for some supper?” He asked.

  “Only if you're paying.” Jane smiled.

  “I'll see if I got some spare change here...”

  He pushed his pelvis forward, digging in his right pocket, trying to get the fat wallet out but the corners were hooking in his pocket. He grunted and cursed until the wallet finally came out. Will threw his body back into the seat, causing the cars suspension to activate.

  “Finally!” He stated as he opened the wallet and Jane's eyes darted over to him.

  “Oh hell! Look at all the spider webs and bats!” She said jokingly.

  “What are you on about? It's full.”

  “It might be full but its the first time you've opened it so everything trapped inside can finally come out. You probably have the black plague in there somewhere!” She said, fixing her gaze back on the road.

  “I think you're right... I see your dignity in here.”

  “Geez, its been long last since I seen that...”

  “Since you were like twelve years old hey?”

  “No, since I was forced to be your partner.” She grumbled.

  “Aww, you love me!” He teased in return.

  “That's wishful thinking!” She chirped as she swerved into the parking lot of the drive through in order for Will to be flung half way out the open window.

  After ordering some cheese burgers and fries they parked in the lot, facing the street. Jane had a lot on her mind, the smell of fresh blood still hadn't left her, nor the lump in her throat. She sat facing the window, holding the small packet of fries in her free hand.

  “Aren't you gonna eat that?” He mumbled to break the deafening silence.

  Jane glanced at Will, then at the chips and in a brief moment of insanity flung the packet at him. He shuddered and coiled up in defense as the fries scattered across the car; he batted so
me of them away, sprinkling crumbs down his shirt. He stared at her with wide eyes before barking back.

  “What the hell was that for!?”

  “You're getting on my nerves!” She said as she turned further away from him.

  “What's eating you?” He questioned gently.

  “Nothing.” Jane replied bluntly.

  “Hmm...Tastes even better.” He claimed as he pushed fries in his mouth that he had picked up off his uniform and had found down the side of the car seat.

  “Hey! Hey! Look at this!” Will begged.

  “Shut it!”

  “Look! He's got a moustache!”

  Jane glanced over her shoulder to find will had mashed a french fry under the nose of the idol and began rubbing its belly oddly.

  “You and that thing... Is that your new toy?”

  He first ate the fry off the sculptures face before attempting to compute her question.

  “Huh?” He stared blankly at her.

  “Put that thing away. It's creepy as hell!” Jane complained before shaking off a cold shiver.

  Will wiped the dust off the dashboard and placed the idol on top and turned it to face him. He stared at its indented eyes, then at its rigid teeth; Will's eyes followed the blood red lines until they came to a stop at what appeared to be a box, ensnaring the person's hands. It was chiselled so carefully for something made from wood, something so small, something that would then be placed in a plain wine box.

  “You know, on second thought, it is kind of creepy.” He stated, staring at the gems along its arms.

  “It's probably some occult thing!” Jane warned, turning her attention towards the idol.

  “Probably...”

  “Why couldn't you just steal an antique spoon or something?”

  “I don't know...It's like this thing called me, like I was meant to find it.” He replied, zoning out into space.

  “That statement is creepier than the idol...” Jane replied as she